5th anniversary miscellany

1) This morning is one of those perfect chilly, bright and sunny summer mornings. I drank my coffee with a blanket over my legs.

2) I'm hoping that this week I'll have a job figured out for the fall, and we can then focus on finding daycare for Henry in a hurry. It may not be easy to find a place we like with space for an infant.


3) Chris and had our 5th anniversary on Saturday. We went to a wedding. We thought about requesting our wedding song to dance to, but the dj started playing rave music and we decided that foxtrotting to Elvis might not fit in. :(

I wanted to get a good picture of us. This is the best we got. Husband looked like a bug-eyed alien in every picture we took. Also, you can't really see in the picture but while Chris was putting his tie on in the car before the reception there was a ripping sound and the sleeve of his shirt just ripped open! He rolled up his sleeves to try hiding the rip, but then the shoulder ripped open on the other sleeve. So he was at the wedding reception looking like he'd been in a brawl. Classic wedding anniversary experience. (For us.)

2) Celia is staying with my parents for a couple days. The house will be strangely quiet today, but it does mean that I get unlimited relaxed play and snuggle time with this sweet little thing. He's so soft and snuggly and sweet. And Chris and I can never get over how easy and relaxing it is to have just one child to take care of! We didn't realize how easy we had it when we just had one.

3) Speaking of Henry, his newest trick, now that he scoots himself backwards and in circles, is to back himself under pieces of furniture and get stuck there. So funny.

4) And now that Henry is starting to be mobile, the children's roles have clearly changed a bit. The other day I found Celia lounging in the Boppy pillow (Henry's usual sitting spot) while Henry played around on the floor.

5) I need to stop procrastinating and order Celia's backpack and lunchbox, and find lunch containers for preschool. I already missed out on ordering her backpack with the colors we picked out. Apparently these things go fast. In July! Crazy. I also saw a sign outside a store yesterday for a Halloween preview party, on August 4th. Also crazy. And doubly crazy that it's almost August already.

Time to go feed Henry some breakfast. Have a good week!

date night

We have only been without Celia overnight a couple of times out of necessity, and each time she stayed with a set of grandparents. Now that Pita is getting a little older and also happens to be obsessed with the concepts of sleepovers, we thought we could try sending her overnight before the baby is born. Chris and I had been thinking about going out for dinner one night anyway. So yesterday Chris's parents picked Celia up after her nap and took her to their house to spend the night. She was very excited. Chris and I were, of course, much more stressed out about it than she was :). It was strange having her gone, but it was really nice to have rare and unlimited time to ourselves. We have both felt so relaxed! And having a day or night with no kids will not happen for us again for a long time!

Last night we went out for dinner at a Greek restaurant we really like, got fancy drinks at Starbucks, went home and immediately changed into comfortable, ratty looking clothes, and read books and watched tv before going to bed early. Best night ever. We really know how to go crazy :D. Oh, and we also had the following conversation before bed:

Me: Do you think it would be weird if I slept in Pita's bed tonight?

Chris (giving me the hairy eyeball): Yes. That would be weird.

Me: But her bed smells like her.

No response from Chris.

Me: Okay, I'll try not to sleep in her bed.

No response from Chris. I have a little bit of an attachment problem.

This morning we got the baby monitor and a safety gate installed upstairs (both projects that took two people and way too long to complete). Turns out that Celia slept well last night and was still happy as a clam and busy playing with one of her cousins this morning, so we decided to let her stay with Chris's parents until the afternoon. Chris and I got grocery shopping done and got a few final Christmas presents for Celia, and now we are home. Probably have a little more time to rest, prep dinner, and get a little yard word done before Celia gets home. I can't wait to see her, but it was definitely a nice break we had this weekend!

getting old

I was looking at this picture the other day. It's always been on my desk at work. I was thinking about how it was taken so long ago- 8 years ago this weekend, I think- and how much our lives have changed since then. In this picture we weren't married, no kids, no mortgage to pay, lived in the city. I was in grad school. If we wanted to go out one night or go away for a weekend, we could.

Then, I was thinking that I was so skinny back then, and that I'm so not right now. And then I thought, "Gee, we both look so young in this picture. I'm getting old. My skin shows signs of age. I'm getting creased and wrinkled and tired looking." So after that I decided I should start trying some anti-aging/skin repair products to try to stop looking so gosh darn old.

The next day, I saw a new jar of skin cream on the bathroom counter. It was a men's product. It said something about wrinkle smoothing. I grinned and chuckled a bit to myself, because I would never have pegged Chris as a man who would be worried about his skin or his looks. And then I thought it was kind of sweet that we both must have been thinking about all this at the same time. So I went downstairs and mentioned to Chris that I'd been noticing my skin looked older and was thinking about doing something about it, and that I noticed his skin cream and how we must have both been thinking the same thing. He replied, "Oh. Well I was just looking for face lotion and when I got home I noticed it said something about anti-aging."

Guess it was just me after all...

8 years

In all the craziness of house hunting and trying to figure out how to rent our place, I almost forgot. Chris and I met eight years ago today. I like this anniversary more than our wedding anniversary, because that date really only encompasses the years of our marriage. There has been so much more than that. When I think about May 4th, I think about our relationship from the very beginning: all the places we lived, how Chris somehow put up with me during grad school, the trips we took, the things we liked to do together and the places we frequented, the excitement of falling in love. We have a long history, and we're really only just beginning. Looks like we celebrated tonight by looking at another house :). If we hadn't started up eight years ago, we wouldn't be raising a family now and sharing sleepless nights going over finances and talking about buying a house. When we started off, we were in our 20s. We were really just kids. As we were reviewing financial stuff and talking about balancing a timeline of renting our place and buying a house last night, it struck me that this seems an awfully grown up thing to be doing. I've been an adult for a while now, but there are some moments in your life when you are struck hard by the fact that you really are a grown up. Chris and I have grown up together. Big stuff.

In other news, I will have to give a review of the houses we've been looking at. And the last few posts have been awfully text-heavy. Maybe some pictures next time :)

social climbers

We are now at the awkward stage of life in which it becomes clear that some of the friends we've known for years are turning out to be very different people from who we thought they would be.

After college and in our 20s, we were all on a level playing field. We had entry level jobs, rented in the city, drove beat up cars or no cars at all, enjoyed each others' company and generally didn't take ourselves too seriously. Then engagements and weddings started popping up. Soon after that came houses, and better jobs, and babies. And lots of superficial talk about whose wedding was bigger, who had more high-powered jobs, and whose house was too big or too expensive (i.e. more expensive than the complainer could afford for himself), and blah blah blah. And slowly but surely, it became clear that some friends just didn't have much in common with us anymore. Even worse, a select few were turning out to be social climbers who were more interested in developing their social status and material wealth than real relationships.

Chris and I are real people. We like occasional shiny new things as much as the next person, but our goals in life have nothing to do with driving expensive cars, living in a wealthy town, or working our way into social circles of people who have these things. And because we're real, genuine people, it takes us a while to understand and accept that people we've been friends with for a long time think those status symbols are more important than friendships they've held for years. 

Here's what I want to know. Am I crazy, or is there really nothing inherently superior about driving a luxury car and living in the nicest suburb? Maybe the summer heat's just getting to me a little, but shouldn't our goals be geared more toward who we are as people, honest relationships with each other, and just plain happiness and contentment? Could there be any more shallow a happiness than that gleaned solely from material possessions and the status they earn you among other people with similarly air-headed aspirations? It is such a disappointment to see our status-conscious friends slipping away from us, inching up the rungs of that social ladder and grasping at the coattails of friends above them. They become more and more distant. They cancel plans or make themselves unavailable with bogus excuses. Conversations with them just don't go like they used to. They're not interested in joking around and showing personality, having deep conversations, or exposing any personal weaknesses or negatives about their lives. In other words, they seem fake and (dare I say it?) even vacuous.

We are slowly coming to accept that some of our friends really aren't friends at all anymore. We need new ones. Real, genuine friends we actually see on a regular basis. Ones we're comfortable sharing our lives with. Friends we can drop in on, do nice things for and give help to, and who do all of those things for us in return. People we can be ourselves with, who don't make us feel as if we're in a competition. People who are the opposite of snobby, elitist, and boring. If only we knew where to find them and how to immediately invite them for dinner without seeming overly forward...

I feel better now. I'll bet a lot of you out there have gone through this too. Something happened today that reminded me of this social change we're going through. I usually don't worry much about it. Now that it's off my chest I can go back to being my happy, busy, interesting, interested self. Without one single BMW to my name. How on earth do I do it?!

a beautiful day, an important date

 The beautiful weather had me in a great mood today (after several cups of coffee). I got a lot done during PIta's morning nap- laundry, yard work, cleaning, and packing our lunches and snacks for tomorrow. Celia and I had an early lunch, went out shopping, and walked around. I was planning to work out during her afternoon nap, but it took her forever to get to sleep and by then I felt like I had to get other things done. I had been dreaming all day of working out and then sitting on the deck in the sunshine while Celia slept. Scrubbing floors and checking my work email (which then caused stress-induced knots in my neck) while thunderclouds filled the sky was not exactly what I had planned, but that's how it ended up!

This afternoon we headed out again for grocery shopping. We couldn't play outside because the sky got really dark and we had some rain and storm warnings. Celia ended her day by constantly testing me with her new toddler behaviors. In the last couple days she has started trying to climb on EVERYTHING. She has gotten herself in a few dangerous situations because I'm not used to having to watch out for her climbing onto things! Then of course she has a fit when I stop her. Add that to the typical "watch me do this thing you keep telling me not to do" kind of stuff, and we had quite an evening. The best is when she does something she isn't supposed to, while saying "no no no" the whole time! 

Last but not least, today is the 7th anniversary of the day Chris and I met! I must admit, I was not feeling the love this morning when Chris said "Happy Anniversary" on his way out the door, Celia was cranky, and I had only had one cup of coffee. However, now that I've had my minimum of three cups, thinking about May 2003 brings back lots of happy memories. Before we know it, we'll have been together for a decade! Some of you might want to know how we do it, and I can honestly tell you I have no idea. Ha! I guess we're both suckers for punishment. Seriously though, May 4th really is a very special date for me. Maybe the Blub and I can celebrate this weekend.

You may have read my Ode to Blub a while back. I'll keep this anniversary one short and sweet. I love you Blub! Life is crazy for us right now. In fact, we have hardly seen each other for two weeks! I know that we will eventually spend time together in one room for longer than a few minutes. I also know that once we do, we'll find that we still love being in each others' company and that seven years hasn't been nearly enough time together.

good things happen when you least expect them; how we met

This week's Show Us Your Life is about how you met your spouse or significant other. Chris and I have a great story, I think. Then again, it's my own story so I would be partial to it...

It was spring of 2003. I had been single for several months and was tired of dating. I had met some nice guys, some jerky guys, and absolutely no one worth having a relationship with. I realized that  what I really wanted was to be happy with myself, and that did not mean finding a guy to validate how great I was. It meant being me, being strong and successful, and enjoying the things I loved without worrying about what anyone else thought.

I decided to join a running club to do something I loved in a social setting. The only problem was that none of the clubs near me fit my schedule. So, I put a post on Craig's List to look for a running partner instead. Mind you, this was in the olden days of Craig's List when it wasn't considered sketchy and lots of groups got together through the Boston board… Anyway, I posted that I was not looking for dates, just someone to be a running partner and do other sports activities with. I met up with a couple of people to go for runs but either our schedules weren't going to work out or fitness levels were mismatched. Then I got an email from Chris.

Chris was interested in meeting to see if we'd want to figure something out. We were both living in Boston and that weekend there was a street fair celebrating May Day. We used that as a meeting place and walked around talking for a while. Before I knew it we had spent the entire day together! I had a great time because I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I was just being myself and it turned out that Chris liked me that way. Before we knew it, Chris and I were hanging out all the time. We only went running together once and ended up dating a couple weeks later! Four years later we were married.

I'm convinced that Chris and I hit it off that day because I was just being myself. Sometimes good things happen when you least expect them, and if you're trying too hard you muck it up for yourself. We were meant to meet that day, and we were meant to spend our lives together. It happened that way because I needed to learn to be happy and secure with myself first. How can you connect with your soulmate if you aren't even being true to yourself? How can your soulmate find you if you're trying to be someone else? I am so lucky that I learned this lesson when I did, and that my reward was the man I'd spend the rest of my life with.

ode to blub

Chris and I have a strong marriage, but like most married couples we have our ups and downs and get on each others' nerves when we're under stress. These days we're pretty busy people what with our Tiny Pepita to care for, jobs, Chris's school, and all the little stresses of daily life. Sometimes these things add up to create the perfect marital maelstrom. I'll admit that on mornings when we've both gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, put our cranky pants on and are ready to go for the jugular, there are times when a mere glimpse of my beloved burns my eyeballs and the thought of spending another 50 years with his intolerable bad habits makes me want to run away and seek sanctuary at some obscure nunnery in outer Mongolia. But, even during those times I still know deep down (sometimes very, very deep down...) that I couldn't possibly ask for a better life partner. Yes, my Blub and I have our differences, but they're awfully petty and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. When it comes down to the really important stuff, my Blub is just about the best thing that ever happened to me.

Chris is a fantastic husband and a wonderful father. He loves me unconditionally. I can be my weird, silly old self in front of my Blub and he only gives me an occasional side eye. Even when we're mad at each other, it's about small things and never for long. I expect him to take a role in raising our children, and he does. In fact, he is probably more involved in caring for Celia than any of his friends are with their kids. From the very beginning, he has been such a big part of Celia's life. He even helped the midwife deliver her when she was born.

 Now he's in school on top of his full time job so he can get his MBA and provide even more for his family. The guy is going to school himself while paying off MY student loans! Stand up husband, I'm telling you. The dude has his priorities straight- except for when he thinks he can play golf all weekend when I work my tail off seven days a week without five minutes to myself...

We may be going through a stressful period right now, but it's really not all that bad. We know that we're in this marriage together, forever. As I like to tell Chris, he's stuck with me for the rest of his life- hee hee! I don't think he minds.

puppies and rainbows will have to wait

I was planning to write all about happy puppies and rainbows today, since Friday's usually a nice easy day at home. As is likely to happen when a baby's involved, things have changed!

Celia woke up at her usual time this morning. I made coffee and then went to get her. As I entered her room I could smell, ha ha I mean tell right away that she had thrown up in the crib. I hope she did it right when she woke up rather than during the night, because I had no idea! She didn't make a peep all night. I took her out of her pajamas right away, and went to wake up Chris for some help. Then Celia and I went into her bathroom to clean her up. She was a little upset and it was not going well, and I had to go back AGAIN to try getting Chris out of bed. Back to the bathroom we went. I didn't want to give Celia a full bath yet because I didn't know how she was feeling and she was still a little out of sorts. So I was trying to "wash" her hair by combing water with a little shampoo through it when Chris finally came in.

Me: "Oh, Daddy finally decided to show up."

Chris: "I got up as fast as I could. God, you are such a [insert not nice word here]!"

Me: "So if the house was on fire you'd just lie there for a while?"

***crickets***

This is us at our best at 5 am.

So then we got Celia dressed, got downstairs, and went through our typical morning routine. Oh, and I cleaned up a really horrific vomit situation in the crib which included stepping in a puddle of it I hadn't seen on the floor. That was fun. Now Chris is at work and Celia's napping. She didn't eat much for breakfast and had a pretty yucky diaper this morning, but she's still as happy as ever. She really is such a good girl. I think she definitely has a little stomach bug, but hopefully it will be short lived. Here's my little Pita reading her books before nap time.

My parents are coming to visit today and Celia will be so happy to see them! They're going to watch her and put her to bed while Chris and I attend a special event at his work tonight. I have a lot on my to-do list for today and the weekend. I'll probably share some of it over the next few days!

nag, nag, nag

A new study has come out showing that men in unhappy marriages are 64% more likely to die of a stroke than happily married men. This does make sense because high levels of stress can impact health. The same results applied to non-married couples.

You know what the media are claiming makes men unhappy in their marriages? Nagging. Clearly the news reports come to conclusions not necessarily drawn by the researchers. Even so, this concerns me for a few reasons.

Number One: I have a husband.
Number Two: My husband is nagged frequently by his wife.
Number Three: My husband does not have a very good life insurance policy.
Number Four: If I had to stop nagging, how would the dirty socks get in the hamper?

a typical conversation

Me (for the 2,875th time): Okay seriously, stop picking your nose! It's a disgusting habit!

Chris: I think of it more as a hobby.

The end.