on christmas eve, judaism and the christmas spirit

The children are nestled all snug in their beds. Santa has come. His reindeer, messy eaters, may have left a piece of carrot and a sprinkle of oats in the driveway.

For Celia, it is all so magical. It will be for Henry too.

This will seem strange at first, to talk about Judaism on Christmas Eve. But I do have a train of thought here. (Though Jesus was a Jew, so perhaps it isn't so strange after all.)

We are not Jewish, but Celia attends a Jewish preschool. The children learn about mitzvahs there. A mitzvah (or one definition of the word) is an act of human kindness.

The concept of Santa is all about human kindness. He fits right in with my goal of raising moral and socially responsible children. If anyone is good at mitzvahs, it's Santa Claus.

The word "mitzvah" seems to have a deeper meaning than just doing something nice for someone else. It has attached to it a sense of social obligation. It isn't just an act; there is a moral component. We must be kind to others and help those in need. Somehow, the teachers at Celia's school are able to convey this message to young children with so much importance that Celia regularly points out when someone has done a mitzvah. She regularly talks about mitzvahs and sometimes plans ahead to perform one. I am grateful to her school for teaching all this, because when it's time for us to do something for others, if all else fails in explaining what we're doing I have one word that explains it all. It's a mitzvah. She understands. Another part of Celia's education is tzedakah, or charity. Donating to charity is a regular activity the children perform each week. I found this description of tzedakah. "In Judaism, giving to the poor is not viewed as a generous, magnanimous act; it is simply an act of justice and righteousness, the performance of a duty, giving the poor their due." I love this. Because a generous, magnanimus act makes it all about the giver. A just and righteous act is about the receiver, and the giver's connection to him. We should do kind things for others not because it makes us look better, or makes us feel good. We should do these things because it is our duty to be kind to others. These concepts are ones that are sometimes hard to explain to a small child, especially when it comes to acts of charity that are fairly abstract. But Celia understands on her own level. She likes giving tzedakah. She likes putting the money in the Salvation Army bucket. She likes giving things to others who might need them and can't provide for themselves. She has spent a month making little presents and wrapping them for people, unbidden. Celia likes performing mitzvahs. We've been doing mitzvahs all month, and we will continue all year. So tonight, as we read a story about the Christmas spirit, you can guess what word I used to explain it to her. 

Merry Christmas. I hope your year was full of mitzvahs, both given and received.

a bit of a whine

This week is proving to be as crazy as the last. We just have a lot going on both at work and home, half of which I haven't even mentioned on the old blog. There's a lot going on at work beyond the usual stuff, and I don't think it will let up until June. Chris is staying at work or school until late a lot of nights. I'm getting tired of being on my own all the way up to Celia's bedtime. Last week I only saw Blub a couple of nights. I have no right to complain really, because some husbands are at work late every night, or always traveling, and never see their wives and kids. But we've made the decision that having Chris home for dinner most nights is a priority. We would rather have a smaller house, have fewer luxuries, and less lucrative jobs than have more material junk and less time together. Since I'm not used to expecting that he'll be late every night, it's always a disappointment when he is. Unfortunately we just have to get through a few more months and he will be done with his MBA. And looking back, it's a lot easier now than when Celia was just an infant and some days I was on my own with her from 5 am to bedtime! That was hard!

Enough complaining. This morning Celia and I played and did her bath, and I gave her hair a trim.

(She had a cotton ball and was pretending it was soap.)

Then my parents arrived for the day. I went for a run and they played with Pita, and we had lunch and then her nap. It looks to be a nice afternoon so we'll probably get Celia outside to play later.

Oh, how about that Bachelor finale last night? I don't know why I let myself get sucked into that show, but it's good entertainment. I was really pulling for Emily, but the final rose ceremony seemed kind of fake and without much emotion. Maybe it was just because they filmed it several times. And THEN, they've already broken up! I admit, that surprised me. You'd think they could at least handle dating each other for a few months if they were so in love. Ridiculous. That show is such a joke. They should stop pretending the purpose is to find a life partner because it usually just ends in a mess.

If there's anything else you'd like to see me complain about, just let me know in the comments ;)

costume consumerism

We're in the midst of a busy day for Celia today. This morning was her music class, and the kids got to come in their costumes for some pictures. We have another little Halloween party this afternoon.

Her kitty costume is pretty minimal, which I did on purpose. I knew the best way to guarantee a costume staying on would be for it to be normal clothing... What, don't you all wear pants with tails? My goal was for her costume to be:
a) comfortable and something she would want to wear (slight failure on this, since she refuses to wear the hat with kitty ears).

and b) something we put together ourselves with a bit of effort and imagination, something we could use again, and something that wasn't a cheap itchy piece of junk made in China by an 8-year-old (another slight failure, since the shirt and pants were probably made in China, separately and by a few different 8-year-olds...)

I can pretty much guarantee that Celia will be the only child we see all weekend without a store-bought costume. Whatever happened to kids making their own costumes? Little ghosts covered in bedsheets and masks made from paper bags? It wasn't all that long ago that homemade costumes were the norm. Think about the excitement, creativity, effort and sense of accomplishment involved in a child thinking of a costume and helping piece it together, or rummaging through the dress-up box to come up with something new. Now think about the experience most kids get these days. Getting ready for Halloween means nothing more than going to a store to buy their costume, already made for them. What are kids getting out of that, other than early exposure to the concept that we must be good consumers? What a missed opportunity! 

If Celia and I made a mask, or a hat, or a full costume for Halloween out of paper and markers and dress-up items from around the house- other kids would probably make fun of her. Adults would pity her, because her parents must not have made the effort or didn't have the money to buy her a costume at the store. How sad. When you think about that, Halloween costumes could be status symbols. Unfortunately, status is marked simply by what you buy. Anyone you ask will say that material possessions have little importance, and that family and happiness and all the human virtues you can think of are the most important things in life. But how many of us actually live that way? Because we are bombarded with consumerism and with the implicit idea that our worth derives from the stuff we buy, it's awfully hard to escape this stuff. To the point where, as ass-backwards as it is, people gave my one-year-old the side eye this morning because she was wearing a somewhat motley costume with messy looking face paint that we took time to make, and practice wearing, and pretend we were kitties with for weeks before Halloween.