pedestrian case histories, part two: the red lobster

If you look under the label "pedestrian case histories", you can read the first two installments. 

This week's case history will highlight one of the most intriguing pedestrians I have encountered. We've been observing him for years, yet he truly remains a man of mystery. He is The Red Lobster.

So, first let's envision The Red Lobster in our minds. Then, with his image burned into our brains, we can delve into an in-depth analysis of his behaviors and the inner workings of the Red Lobster psyche.

The Red Lobster is tall. He appears to be in his late fifties or early sixties. He has grey hair and is balding. He is not overweight, but has a belly and some chub on his arms. The Red Lobster wears the same type of outfit every day: light grey shorts made of sweatpant material and a cotton tank top. Yes, that's right. A tank top. Sometimes blue, sometimes white. And white gym socks that come up just a bit too high on his legs. Now for the lobster part. The Red Lobster, like his sea living cousins, turns bright red when cooked. His skin is perpetually sunburned. He also listens to music using some sort of device with an antenna. It sure is reminiscent of a lobster's antennae.

The Red Lobster walks, and walks, and walks. He walks slowly, in no hurry at all. He walks all day long. Part of his route is around our neighborhood, but we've also seen him miles down the road. Clearly he has not heard of sunscreen, because the hours of walking must be why he is perpetually sunburned. Chris and I were discussing The Red Lobster today, and wondering if he walks for his health but has neglected to consider skin cancer as a health concern.

I really want to know where The Red Lobster lives, and why he walks all day. I picture him living in a smallish ranch-style house that was built in the sixties and hasn't been updated much since. I think he eats a lot of tv dinners. I just realized that I've never gotten a peek at his left hand to see if he's married. I wonder if he has a wife at home, and why he spends all day away from home doing all that walking. Does he have nothing else to do? Did he take his doctor's recommendation to get more exercise to an unheard of extreme? Perhaps he is single or widowed. Why doesn't he have a job? Or does he work nights? He seems lonely to me. I don't know why. Poor Red Lobster. Now I'm feeling sad for him based on information completely made up in my head.

I have so many questions about The Red Lobster. Maybe someday I'll ask him how far he walks and why he walks so much. I see him often enough that he probably wouldn't mind talking to me. In fact he's probably home from his walk right now, typing away at his computer about me, that skinny girl who runs everywhere with bottles and other supplies belted around her waist.