henry's birth

I always wish I'd had this blog to document Celia's birth, so I have been looking forward to writing Henry's birth story. Here it is.

Henry's birth was fast and furious. My labor didn't really even affect me until I suddenly hit transition at seven centimeters. I attribute this partly to luck. My body seems to be pretty efficient at having babies. But mostly, I attribute it to my mental state and preparedness. I wasn't expecting labor to be a horrible experience, so it wasn't. In fact, I was so relaxed and laid back that I wasn't even bothered by my contractions until forty minutes before Henry was born. I trust my body completely to birth my babies. It's what women are made to do. I work with my body and use relaxation and visualization to move labor along quickly. These things work. It sounds a bit hokey to talk about a mind-body connection, but it really exists and it's a powerful thing. There's nothing superhuman or physically tough about women who have natural births. We are mentally tough and in tune with our bodies. We trust that our bodies will do what they were made to do, and we approach childbirth without fear. When you understand labor, have trust, and are free from fear, it's likely you'll succeed.

As I approached 41 weeks of pregnancy, I started to worry that I'd have to be induced. When you want a natural birth, induction is not your friend. Depending on how your body reacts to induction and what methods are used, you can end up with all kind of interventions and end up completely out of control of your labor. I do best when I'm left alone to labor without interventions. Of course there are times when it gets really intense and I doubt my abilities, but the really scary times are when my power is taken from me and things are being done to me by others.


On the day I turned 41 weeks, I was scheduled for a non-stress test for the baby. I went to the hospital that morning for the test. It took much longer than normal because the nurse kept saying they wanted more information, and I really knew something was up when different people kept coming to check the paper and ask how I was doing. I wasn't surprised when they wanted to send me for an ultrasound right away. It turned out that the amniotic fluid levels were low, and since I was already past my due date the safest thing was to deliver the baby right away. Chris had met me at the hospital when I realized something wasn't quite right, so we both drove home to get ready. We got Celia from daycare, got her settled and playing with Chris's mom, and then took off for the hospital.

We checked in and were settled in the antenatal unit by 7:00. My midwife, Colleen, came in and we talked about our plan for the induction. Although I needed to be induced, we still wanted as little intervention as possible. This is why I love my midwives. We felt secure knowing we could completely trust Colleen and that she would make sure we had as little intervention as possible while keeping Henry and me healthy. We decided to go with an induction method that is actually controversial in the natural birth world, but we used it with Celia and I've had long and thorough discussions with the midwives about it. Using misoprostol actually lessens the need for other interventions because it's very effective for me. With Celia, misoprostol was used to start my labor and I needed no other drugs, IV, or interventions.

I got the misoprostol placed at 7:12 pm. We were prepared for the induction process to go slowly because it didn't have a very strong immediate effect, and we assumed we'd be spending the night in that room and having the baby in the morning. I actually spent the first hour of labor doing some online shopping! I laughed at myself the whole time, but it was Cyber Monday and there were deals to be had on Christmas gifts! Colleen then suggested that we take a walk to see if my contractions would get stronger. We walked for a while, went back to our room for a little bit, and then walked around some more. While walking, I could tell I was having contractions but the movement prevented me from feeling them very acutely. Whenever I stopped moving around I could feel that they were getting stronger. They were still easy enough to get through and weren't really bothering me. At 10:30 we decided to lie down and get some rest before labor really got going. My contractions were a little stronger, but we were still thinking I'd need another round of misoprostol to really get going. At 11:15 my nurse came in to put the monitor on for a while. She had trouble finding Henry's heartbeat and it was very slow. She had me roll from side to side but that didn't help, and all of sudden she was a little panicked and calling for help. Colleen and two other nurses rushed into the room, and suddenly I had an oxygen mask shoved on my face and a nurse was getting an IV line in. Henry had just had a brief deceleration, but it was a scare since I hadn't been on the monitor all along. Meanwhile, Henry's heart rate came right back up and I suddenly started having much stronger contractions. This is when I started getting scared. It wasn't because of the deceleration, but because I was having trouble managing my contractions with people crawling all over me doing things to me. The oxygen mask made me feel hot, nauseas, and claustrophobic. The nurses' messing around with the heart monitor and getting the IV in were a big distraction and made it very hard to relax through the suddenly powerful contractions. Luckily Colleen was there to reassure me that it was okay to have the IV, and that they'd just give me extra fluids for a little while and then remove it. She could also tell, without me saying a word, that something had changed in my labor. I think she knew then that I'd be having a baby soon.

When the nurses were done and the room cleared, Colleen stayed with us. My contractions were getting intense and I lay on my side, rocking my hips back and forth through them. I asked Chris for my stress ball because I like to squeeze it during strong contractions. This was what got me through labor with Celia too. I was starting to feel out of control during my contractions because they had gotten so strong so suddenly. I thought I had a lot more time left to labor, because I had only been at 2 centimeters the last time I was checked. Labor was so intense that it felt like I was already in transition, and I didn't know if I could manage it for several more hours. At this point I wasn't talking much- just trying to relax my body, breathe and move rhythmically during contractions, and then rest between them. Chris recognized that I was entering the intense stage of labor in which I needed to retreat into myself. He put on the music I use to relax during labor, and he started giving me pressure for pain relief at a pressure point on my hand. Colleen did this amazing thing with placing her hands on my shoulder, hip and leg with gentle pressure that made my body relax during contractions. Those things helped a lot.

My version of an epidural: the beloved stress ball.

My contractions were now 2-4 minutes apart and Colleen wanted to check me. She did, and my jaw dropped when she said I was seven centimeters! I was so relieved to be that far along. I said to her, "No wonder I feel so awful!" Ha! I told her I had started worrying that I couldn't handle contractions that strong for much longer, and she said I wouldn't have to. She was right. At that point it was probably around 11:30 and my contractions got much stronger. I needed to vocalize through them, and my vocalizations got louder and louder. I vocalized on an "O" sound and worked on keeping them at a low pitch to help me relax and help bring the baby down. I visualized my cervix opening the rest of the way, and Henry moving down. It was not easy, but at least I knew I was in control now and that things were moving fast. I'm sure if you'd heard me moaning from the hallway, you would not have thought I was in control at all! But I was, I just had to be really loud. Colleen asked if I felt the need to push, and I said "Not yet". Sure enough, I did want to push starting with the next contraction.

There was suddenly a rush to get me from antenatal to a labor and delivery room. They hadn't been prepared for things to go that fast. I had to get in a wheelchair between contractions. I was told not to push (I ignored that and pushed anyway). Then the nurse literally sprinted down the hall with me to labor and delivery, with Colleen and Chris running behind us. I had dreaded having contractions in the wheelchair, but the vibration and fast movement actually helped me and I asked if we could do it again because it felt good. Everyone laughed, but sadly I did not get another ride. They were all in a big hurry because Henry was on his way out.

When I had Celia, the pushing stage was the easiest. I had nice long pauses between contractions, and was able to rest and relax during those breaks. I was in a sort of dreamlike state and Chris said it was like I was in a trance. This time was much different. I was almost constantly contracting with no break. Because I was always in a contraction, it was hard to catch my breath and get deep breaths in for pushing. Since I couldn't get a good inhalation, I didn't have the breath and the energy for strong, long pushes. It was very frustrating and I really had to concentrate to breathe deeply while contracting so I could push. The good thing was that, compared to my labor with Celia I was much more alert and in the moment. I was able to visualize where Henry was and concentrate on pushing effectively. I was also highly motivated to get him out quickly because the constant contractions made it so unpleasant. It was really hard work, but I guess I did okay because I couldn't have been pushing for very long. It was probably 15-20 minutes at the longest, because Henry was born at 11:56 pm. It had been less than five hours since labor began. Colleen says I'm made to have babies :).

Henry, just born.

When Celia was born, everything was a little foggy. I had been in that trace-like state that served me so well during labor, but was also hard to snap out of. Then Celia was taken away to the NICU and I didn't really get the chance to bond and fall in love with her right away. Her difficulties with feeding made it even harder for us to bond. We made up for it eventually, of course. But with Henry, I fell instantly in love. I knew what to expect. Everything was familiar. Because I knew how much I loved Celia, I knew ahead of time how much I'd love Henry too. I grinned, laughed, then cried as he landed on my chest. I knew how to hold him, how to nurse him. I knew right away how much I loved him. He was healthy and perfect, and there was nothing to prevent me from enjoying everything about him from the very start, and every single moment since.