surrender

I read this article in the paper a couple of weekends ago, and it spoke to me. It's a nice little piece about parenting young children. The basic idea is that you will be a happier person and a better parent if you accept that life changes with kids. You can't do things the way you did before you had children, and aspects of life will sometimes be beyond your control. If you can surrender to the wild ride that is parenting, and make adjustments accordingly, it will be easier to enjoy your kids.

The main ideas in this article are ones I've always subscribed to. I'm okay with the fact that right now, Chris and I don't go out alone too often. We've found ways to continue doing the things we enjoy on a modified or reduced scale while we have young kids. Right now we've settled into a really good place. We are enjoying being Celia's parents more than ever, while finding ways to enjoy being ourselves. It has taken almost a year for us to get to this place though, and I know that I can do even better.

I have a type A-plus personality. Some consequences are that I appear totally put together, never forget an appointment or obligation, have a sparkling clean house, and get a home-cooked meal on the table almost every night. Another is that I have an awfully difficult time accepting that I can't always have a perfectly neat and organized existence and care for a 1-year-old simultaneously. Celia is my greatest priority and I know it would be best to surrender to the chaos that is mothering a toddler. Yet I still tend to freak out a little when I'm playing with Celia but know the house is a mess, or when I can't make dinner because she's clinging to my leg. I've really worked on becoming more flexible and less of a perfectionist.

Then today I was thinking about all of this and realized: why not surrender to me? Why not accept that I am the way I am? Why fight my own nature if I could find a way to be my freakishly controlling self and still enjoy boat loads of quality time with Celia? Well, maybe I could be a little less freakish....

You know what makes me a better mom who's able to completely dedicate herself to her child all day long? Having a clean house with everything in its place. Having dinner prepped and ready to go. Having meals planned and grocery lists organized. Having a laundry pile that isn't taller than I am.

I have some ideas and am ready to make some changes. Stay tuned...